How to grow your confidence
How do you think? “I can” or “I can’t?”
One of my favourite quotes is;
“Whether you think you can, or you can’t; you’re right”
The quote is credited to Henry Ford and it’s one that I use a lot, as its about confidence and self-belief, or what I like to refer to as the ‘messages’ that we tell ourselves. “Be careful what you tell yourself” as my friend and mentor Ross Page, used to tell me.
Basically, it’s saying that if we start with the thought (belief) that ‘we can’t’ do or achieve something we’re setting ourselves up for the probability of that outcome. Equally if
we start with the thought that ‘we can’ do or achieve something we are setting out towards a positive outcome. There’s a part of our brain that always likes to be right! Therefore, depending on which of the messages above you’ve told yourself, it’s likely to be right!
Confidence is sometimes an elusive thing, and a lack of it is something that we can all experience at times. Over the last nine years of running my own business I’ve discovered that I’m not alone in this experience either. When I talk to my peers and fellow business owners and I’m truthful with them about my thoughts and feelings I discover that many of them have similar experiences at times.
So how do we maintain that confidence, or get it back when we’re “having a wobble”, a moment of doubt? Here’s a few ideas;
Talk to a trusted friend/advisor: Sharing your doubts with other people, people that understand what that is like can be a liberating event. I’ve found that my peers not only offer me support, but they offer me a different perspective as well as great ideas for enabling me to move forward.
Positive self-talk is really useful: By observing our thoughts we can catch ourselves when negativity creeps in. We can’t choose the thoughts we have, but we can choose which ones we react too and therefore how we feel.
Trust yourself to deliver: You’ve been in difficult spots before, or had very challenging deadlines to deliver and you’ve achieved them before, so you can do it again. Look back and remind yourself of all the times that you’ve kept your agreements or delivered on your commitments. Remind yourself that you came through those and learnt from them as well.
Set yourself some clear objectives (goals): Make sure that they are tangible. Create a vivid picture of what the final outcome looks and feels like and how you intend to get there.
Focus on what YOU want: Keep your focus specifically on what you want, within yourself, your life, your business etc., as opposed to what you don’t want. This ensures that you are focussed on positive outcomes rather than a negative (i.e. what you don’t want).
Have fun, enjoy the ride: Don’t forget, life is for living, so have fun. See the positives in each day, each experience, and learn from them as well. And if things don’t go to plan, learn from the experience, pick yourself up and go again! We learn from everything we do.
Nurture self-belief and confidence will follow… and you can start right now.
If you would like help to develop your skills in this arena please give me a call on 01273 35886 for a no obligations conversation or email me at [email protected].
Martin Smith Learning and Development Ltd is a management training and coaching company working with business leaders at all levels to help them develop their communication and management skills and to build effective working relationships with the people that they interact with. For a no obligations conversation give me a call on 01273 358863 or email me at [email protected]
Helping you to GROW your business by developing your people